she smelled like a LAN party
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
