why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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