at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
BRING THE BAGELS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
