I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
