She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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