you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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