its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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