Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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