Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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