OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
