I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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