Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
