How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
