i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
