I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
