Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
