Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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