If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
