I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
