Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
