david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just pee around me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
