so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
