I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
