38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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