Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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