so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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