thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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