the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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