I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just found puke in my bra..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
