He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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