'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize