Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Randomize
