They should really pass out barf bags in church
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
