Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
