halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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