You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
