Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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