apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
