Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

(1-904): View more from Florida

i wish i had your life

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(904): btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets (1-904): i wish i had your life http://tfl.nu/5ctk

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(818): View more from California

I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

(310): View more from California

wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

(818): View more from California

why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape (310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape? (818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES http://tfl.nu/d72u

Replies (94) Good night (1068) Bad night (12123)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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(847): She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing. http://tfl.nu/qwo3

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(785): View more from Kansas

The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.

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(785): The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart. http://tfl.nu/xj2p

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(661): View more from California

When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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(661): When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience http://tfl.nu/gidk

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(727): View more from Florida

I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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(727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy

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(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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(917): You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door. http://tfl.nu/b3vl

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(512): View more from Texas

I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.

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(512): I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now. http://tfl.nu/d3l4

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(518): View more from New York

Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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(518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

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(603): Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day http://tfl.nu/sq9b

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(905): View more from Ontario

Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.

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(905): Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out. http://tfl.nu/k7xk

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(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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(703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17

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(517): View more from Michigan

I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING

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(517): I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING http://tfl.nu/fw3v

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(408): View more from California

Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?

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(408): Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection? http://tfl.nu/3s68

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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(410): I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time http://tfl.nu/zqpv

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