i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.