they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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