Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're my little dorito
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
