Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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