You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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