What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
