So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
