hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
