i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
