wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.