I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?