You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.