she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
