I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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