I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
