Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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