Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
