YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
