Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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