and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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