Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if only i could text you this smell
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
