did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize