It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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