69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
