drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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