We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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